You can read all day and night about “morning sickness”… but nothing, and I mean NOTHING prepares you for the absolute misery that is food aversions and nausea. I will note now, that I have an unbelievable respect for the women who suffer through this for more than one trimester, and live to tell the tale AND have more kids!
Here’s a bit of my version of morning sickness.
5 am: Wake up in the early morning starving and nauseated. Force yourself back to sleep for two hours, then wake up to your alarm reminding you that you’re starving and nauseated.
7 am: Climb out of bed to take a shower, which makes you even more nauseous (hot water, who knew?) Climb back in bed to catch your breath before attempting to dry your hair, while seated… because let’s be honest, who has the energy to stand while doing that?
7:40 am: Prepare for the day, which means stand in your kitchen and try, aimlessly, to think of something you can tolerate for breakfast (knowing the only relief from nausea comes when you have something in your stomach.)
7:50 am: Give up and grab a bag of grapes.
8 am- 12 pm: Work throughout the morning, wearing motion sickness bands to remind yourself that you’re pregnant… they’re so attractive with business dress.
12 pm: As if you needed a reminder that food is absolutely, horrifically, potently, disgusting… it’s “lunch time”. Walk through the aisles of Wal Mart (insert Kroger, Food Lion, etc.) searching for a non-grape alternative meal.
12:30 pm: Exhausted and defeated, return to work with another bag of grapes, and perhaps (on a good day) a thing of french fries.
1 pm- 5 pm: Feel utterly defeated (can I feel each individual rib on my body?) and make the trek home for “dinner”.
5:20 pm: Climb in bed, mutter wordlessly to your husband a request for more french fries and grapes…. and then accidentally fall asleep during their retrieval.
5:40 pm: Oh yeah, I have to take the nausea pill (a.k.a pregnancy vitamin)
5:45 pm: Finally find the courage to swallow said pill with large gulp of water.
(P.S. did anyone else know that WATER could make you feel nauseas?)
6 pm: Give up on food entirely, and fall asleep…..
6:30 pm: Wake up remembering that your bladder has apparently taken a cue from the Grinch’s heart and shrunk 3 times too small.
Did I mention that nobody in your life knows you’re pregnant? That’s even more fun!
(Repeat for 4 weeks.)
Pre-pregnancy weight: 123 lbs
Weight at end of Food Aversion period (10 weeks): 120 lbs